Had some really bad luck with a therapist recently. When I told other therapists how they decided to handle my separation they were all aghast. Add one more person to the list that will take me years to forgive, if I ever can. I’m a grudge holder and forgiveness is near impossible. They say it takes years off of your life. I say the protection that grudge holding provides (anger and indignation) is worth it. Hate makes you stronnnngerrrrr. Yesssssss. My finances are about to be lean, so I don’t see myself being able to afford a therapist for a bit. I’m not sure I’ll ever trust one again either so I’ve decided to read, write, and listen my own self to a healthier place. I’m the one I’m in the longest relationship with so I’ve got me. I want to share the resources I’m using with you.
All of these people are in bed together, heh. By that I mean that almost all of these people have been guests on all of these people’s podcasts. It’s how I found them. Starting with Mel Robbins. She has a soundbite on Insta that has been used a gazillion times and it resonated. I listen to her podcast but I hand pick. There’s so much media out there I really think that’s the way to go anyway. I listen to everyone on Spotify but they are on multiple platforms. https://www.melrobbins.com/ https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins One of the first podcasts I listened to by her made me really sad. It was about why you should salvage your marriage when you’re on the razors edge. By the time I listened to it, the divorce was already irreversible. I send this to friends all the time. Here it is: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3RcuD978QGD5G2Z3jvrR1B?si=3a32f4ef422d418e
Also, y’all can buy all the shit you want. I’m a couple of books in, but you can access a STINKING LOT for free. Utilize that. The next person is Jay Shetty; Former monk turned podcaster. He writes a lot about love. https://jayshetty.me/ I bought his book and it starts off with self love which I’ve come to learn is most important. It’s called 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go. Listen to quite a few podcasts from him. https://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW
Next is, wow, Yung Pueblo. Also have a book by him called Lighter found here. https://a.co/d/b5wCc2h It’s about letting go. He unintentionally turns every piece of advice into a poem. My breathing slows with every sentence. He is magical. https://yungpueblo.com/ https://www.facebook.com/yungpueblo
In a slightly more cerebral camp is Andrew Huberman, a neurobiologist I have massive amounts of respect for. https://hubermanlab.com/ https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab One caveat – I’m into it, I really am, but two hours of Huberman is a lot of Huberman. I can’t take that much. Maybe you can. His podcasts are all lined up in a very visually friendly way on his site. It’s worth looking at the topics. I love the data and the science backed stuff.
Another is Therapy Jeff. https://www.therapyjeff.com/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087367684458 His lists of questions to ask yourself and former/present/future lovers are PRIME. I have already asked him to make a deck of cards with these questions because it would be SUCH a great way to vet your partner. I post and will continue to post him on my page. So relevant. I can’t wait to ask these questions of someone. He has not responded to my request but I am motivated enough to listen to every last video and transcribe them to make my own damn set of cards. He has a podcast but… ugh… the person’s voice that he co-hosts with is intolerable for me.
Not so much relationship related but more related to an achievement and goal setting mindset is Allistair McCaw. https://www.allistairmccaw.com/ https://www.facebook.com/Allistairmccawpage He has a book called Be Champion Minded. He posts quotes from it all the time and that is all I’ve needed from him so far.
Lastly, there’s a guy https://www.facebook.com/jason.s.tapp named Jason Tapp who specializes in narcissists. Seems he had the misfortune of getting trapped by one and became an expert by default. I have him on Insta as Healing Out Loud. I do not believe that I was married to a narcissist. Not wanting to get trapped by a narcissist in the future, I pay attention to Jason. Many of you have already reached out to me with your own nightmares of being stuck with one so I think you should look into this guy.
My healing is different from your healing. My timeline is different from your timeline. All I can tell you is, if you’re in a rotten relationship you need to fix it or get out. No one is doing anyone any good by compromising their happiness. Life it too short. Grab joy by the balls. So I guess my next post has been organically chosen for me in this paragraph. Next, I will tell you about my “life in weeks” calendar.
I love you guys. You are already helping me so much. ~Sue Anne
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