Raw: Gratitude

I’m looking at my list of topics that I wanted to write about and there are quite a few left. There’s still some anger I have to work through and still some shit I need to push off of a cliff into a pit of venomous, fire breathing snakes. One of the things that helps with this is tapping into gratitude. Podcasts are telling me I should write it down nightly. Don’t worry, there’s still some drama to write about. I do hate drama, though.

I am thankful for my family. We had a rough go of it throughout the first year of the pandemic but we held on. My anger at all things 2020 was off the rails and admittedly made relationships with me hard. That was also topped with anxiety over catching a disease that was not only killing people but causing permanent damage to organs that were altering or shortening peoples lives. (I was a mess but this is also what drove me to my life-affirming hobby.) My parents weathered my altered state like champs and I am fortunate that they did. I was lucky to be brought into this world by two people who did their best, made me the center of their world, and were grateful for me! And gosh, they went above and beyond during this terrible time. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

I’m grateful for my smaller family: literally a fraction of my own body weight. My cats. I’ve had these two for about 14 years now, making them 15. Their personalities are so different from one another but I love them both the same. Their antics, playfulness, purring, love bites, warmth, and affection were too often all I had to sustain me at home. They are my unconditional loves and they fill my heart. Thank you, sweet babies, for being in my life and letting me care for you.

There is much gratitude for my hobby. Autocross has taken over and not only given me purpose but has given me the warmest, kindest, most helpful extended family I could ever dream of. Racing, working on, and wrapping cars fills my happiness tank. I don’t know what more I can add here except that, of course, I actually beat myself up for not finding it sooner.

I am intensely grateful for my friends: both those that I chat with on the regular and those who can pick right up with where we left off months/years ago. I’m grateful for new friends and very, very old friends. All of these friends have jumped in to support me during this extremely emotional time. I absolutely could not have recovered from the curb stomp as quickly as I have without the amazing people that surround me.

I am also thankful for my health, my job, and my home. I’m thankful for beans and rice and salvage grocery stores. I have gratitude for my own education, intellect, and my talents. I’m even grateful for me though I’m kind of a frenemy. If I stop and look around, I already have everything I’ve ever wanted and perhaps that should be my new mantra.

With extreme gratitude and all my love, ~Sue Anne